24 January 2011

Why I Hate Wii...or...Viedo Games Are Going To Kill Me....

7am: 
Dad, can I play some Wii this morning?

No. We don't play on school days, especially before school.

But we made it to the Asylum...

No.

But, Dad?

No!

Dad? How did we make it to the Asylum? Can we play the bad guys all the time now? How do we get back to the Asylum? What did we go through to get there? Can we go back? Do we get to play the Joker? What happens if Batman gets us while we're a bad guy? Can we fight Batman and Robin when we're bad guys? What happens if we beat Batman when we're bad guys? Can I play Wii after school today?

7:02am
Dad? Dad? Dad?.............Daaaaaaad?


No you can not play Wii during the school week! Stop asking. Or no Wii for the rest of your life.


Dad?

Yes?

If my friend Diego was playing Wii as a bad guy could he beat Batman?

(sigh!)I'm sure you meant to say good morning! Are you ready for school yet?

Dad? When can we play Wii? Is tomorrow the weekend? Can we play on the weekend? On the weekend can we still play the bad guys?

I'm sorry I couldn't hear you over placing the add for a free wii on craigslist.

Daaad! Can we play until you give it away?


7:03am
Dad? Dad? Dad?

Mom? Dad just bashed his head on the table and is sleeping. Can I play Wii until he wakes up?

18 January 2011

Morning Giggles...or, Death, By Blow Job...

As Mr. Man and I are getting ready for school, I hear him from the other room, "Dad, my hair's still soaked, I think I need a blow job this morning."

Excuse me?

"A blow job. I like getting dressed after a hot blowjob in the morning. "

Oooooo k......

"Would it be a good idea to bring the blower in the shower with us so we can blow job without getting out?"

Noooo. That kind of blow job would not be a good idea. The whole electric and water thing. Zap. Fry. Dead...

"Ok. I can wait for my blow job then."

That's a good idea, I would rather wait than die. 

"What a way to go."


My thought's exactly.

05 January 2011

Divisions Of Time...


I have been pondering a New Year's post for about two weeks now. I have even written several of them.

I have been trying to sum up the past year. Basically, it blew large chunks. Which is what made me think about the last few years. All of which have really stunk up the charts.

This past 12 month period for example was complete with talk of separation and divorce. Child custody. Unemployed with out unemployment. Massive amounts of car repairs. Death. And various forms of personal and professional failure.

I mean, what's not to like.

But we're going to change a few things. Last year also brought us a new puppy. It brought me several new opportunities. It has brought new understanding of myself, of Precious and...well...

Anywho. Why do we need to break things up into year terms? Why 12 months? Why do they start in the middle of winter? Why not March 21st? Why not from leap year to leap year?

I'm tired of tracking my life in year long clumps. Life is too short for that. From now on I track my life from moment to moment. Each failure, the opportunity to learn and grow. Each success is one step closer to all of us being happy(er). A life of harmony. That's what I really want. Harmony. I'm not sure what I even mean by that, but that's what I want.

Begin small. You can't change everything at once. It's destined for failure and you'll go right back to old habits. No sir. Each day from the moment of consciousness, I greet the day with a smile. Even if it's forced. A pleasant morning together, breakfast, music and a laugh or two.

Mornings are our time together. Every morning is ours to determine what kind of day we begin.
I am choosing to begin them we joy.

As I head out into the world I try to keep that with me. Each situations outcome is largely up to me. I have always been told that I bring things on myself. Well then, it's time to bring on something better.

Each moment is mine. To do with, what I will.

So no matter how you divide your time, your moments are yours. Use them wisely.