It’s Time To Pay Up…

 

This may be the time for all of us to realize that the American Dream is Dead. In reality, it was never alive. Everything we have been told, been taught, been promised by our leaders, from the beginning, was a lie. We have never been anything more than slaves, rebranded as employees. As consumers with a price on our heads. And when the system has drained us of everything it can take from us, we are discarded and forgotten about. Left to die without dignity or grace, stripped of all humanity.

To be an American, comes with a subscription fee, and it’s steep.

You want a roof over your head: Property isn’t free anymore. It’s all owned by someone and they need to make a profit so, Pay up!

You want water to drink, clean, cook: Water issn’t free anymore, someone owns it and they need to make a profit so, Pay up!

You want electricity for lites, heating, cooling, cooking, charging: Watts aren’t free, someone owns it all  and they need to make a profit so, Pay up!

You want to drive, you need a car: Pay up! You need gas and maintenance: Pay up! You want safe roads to travel: Pay up! You need a license for yourself and your car: Pay up! The Dealers, the shops, The Dept of Transportation all need a profit so, Pay up!

PLussss, we need insurance to cover everything: So Pay up, every fucking month until you die.

We neeedd jobs to do all the Paying up, but the government needs our money to take care of us all, so they take our money from us before we gat a chance to Pay up. So we Pay up twice or more.

Well fuck that, We’ll just move out to some open space and build our own home and live off the land.

NOPE!

Every square inch of this god forsaken country is owned by a handful of families. Those rich fuckwads make the rules for the rest of us. It’s now against the law to live off the live off grid unless you live in a Van Down By The River. But even then, don’t get caught.

We live in a pay to stay society. We were born here against our will and ever since we have been paying up, just to survive.

And Now, we all have to worry because white women can get shot in face while smiling and saying, ”I’m not mad bro.”

Fuck the lies we’ve been told. Fuck the centuries of extortion and exploitation. Fuck the Handful Of inbred families that have caused all of this for the last 300 years. 

THERE ARE MORE OF US THAN THERE IS OF THEM. TIME TO TAKE BACK WHAT WE HAVE ALL BEEN PROMISED. TO TAKE BACK EVERYTHING THAT’S BEEN EXTORTED FROM US.

TIME TO TARE DOWN THE SYTEM THAT WAS BUILT TO EXPLOIT US. TIME TO REBUILD A SYSTEM BUILT FOR ALL OF US. 

                                      TIME TO MAKE THE FUCKING RICH PAY UP!

Toxic Masculinity…

 When It comes to male anger, I understand. I spent much of my youth angry. At the world. At anyone that questioned me, or asked me for anything. It was always just under the surface. Ready to jump out and attack anyone within ear shot. 

I would raise my voice, throw things (golf clubs were my favorite item to launch), even punch a wall or two. I’m not proud of that behavior, however it did teach me much about myself. About my family, my childhood. I was raised to be a racist. To fear and dislike anyone that was different. Everyone I knew told off color bigoted jokes. The occasional N-word from the grand parents. I didn’t know any different.

There were only a handful of non-white people where I grew up, and most of them were Native Americans but they stuck mostly to the reservations. 

I never cared for the jokes or the derogatory language, but I never spoke up. I never pushed back at any of it. I would stand up for women because even though I was raised wrong, I was also raised to be a gentleman. At least toward women, which still seems odd to me. I never realized that all of the jokes were backed in hate, because i never saw the hate. When raised in this environment the jokes don’t sound like hate. Everyone laughs afterwords. 

At 19 I left home and moved across the country. My world exploded. I was surrounded by people that were not like myself. I soon realized that, these people probably don’t think those jokes and stereotypes were funny. I never repeated one again. It dawned on me that I was not raised right , and that everyone was basically the same. We’re all just trying to get by in this mess of a world. We all just want a better life for ourselves and our family and friends. 

The Summers Of My Discontent…

At long last I may have finally come to the source of my discontent.

Every memory I have of my childhood, is centered around me having to defend myself. Good, bad or otherwise, every memory I can conjure, the situations are of conflict, competition, or defensive. 

There was support, encouragement, but with a price. Always be the best. Be a leader not a follower. If you start something you finish, no matter what. No excuses, no failures, and threats of physical violence toward me for questioning any of it.

At the age of 11, my father showing me how a defensive lineman can get past an offensive lineman, by throwing me fae first into the turf. A fat and bloody lip, a bloody nose followed by a few tears, was met with, “ would you Ike me to give you something to cry about?”.

When I was 16 years old, at the evening dinner table. I was told that if I wanted to look like a fag that was my choice. In response to a newly pierced ear. 

I listened to years of stories, regaling the poor choices made by my father and uncles and grandfather, all with laughter and fondness as if being arrested and thrown in jail were just boys being boys. Then told to do as they say, not as they do. And then they’d laugh as they remembered the past glories.

So when I started getting into trouble, I assumed it would be met with the same nonchalant chuckles. And they were. And every time there was no real consequence, my need for attention of any kind made me escalate my behavior. Fortunately for me I was never caught doing some of the truly terrifying and horrible things I did. 

Thank the black baby jesus that i escaped. 

I left home at the first chance that presented itself. I relearned everything I was ever taught. How to act, how to treat people, what to believe in, who to believe in and everything I currently know and believe.

As it turns out, everything I hold dear is in complete opposition to my entire family. I’m the only one that ever left home. Coincidence? Probably not.

After a recent visit with my family, parents, sister, Aunt, my son thanked me for breaking the cycle.

I could not have been prouder of my Mr. Man. He’s no longer an innocent bystander, he is an Allie.

And suddenly all of my pain and angst, didn’t seem so painful. It may have been what needed to happen for my son to live a better life.