Five...

Hard to believe that MW has been up for five years now. The more my life changes the more it stays the same.

I've been trying to re-programme my life, trying to find a better way. A better way to live my life, a better way to think and get things done. Re-programming is difficult.

Most people will tell you that they welcome change. That they want change in their lives or in the world. However, when it comes right down to it, they really fight tooth and nail against change of any kind.

Change is frightening. You have to welcome the unknown. You have to take chances. You have to gamble on yourself. You have to be honest and open with yourself in order to change in any way.

Therein lies the difficulty in really changing anything. People don't want to look at themselves honestly or openly. It's easier to live in our perceived reality and lie to ourselves that everything is either, going well or it's about to get better.

If things were going well, they wouldn't need to think or talk about changing. If you're unwilling to be honest and open, it's not going to get better. Ever. You can't fix a problem with the same thinking that caused it.

I wonder how long it will take me to really implement change in my life. I wonder what I'm not being honest about with myself. I try not to complain about my life. I'm the one that brought me to this place. It has been my doing. I worked hard to get where I am, where ever that may be.

What I know is that everything is not alright. It's not horrible, but it can be a great deal better. What that better may be will be different for everyone. I know that it wont change unless I sacrifice a few things. A few beliefs, a few habits, the time it takes to journey down another path. An untraveled path. The herd will wander aimlessly, all believing that they must being doing the right thing because everyone is doing it. That in itself, is enough for me to break away from the herd. No matter what the herd says about my choice of path, I know my life will only improve by doing my own thing. Making my own decisions. And following my own path. Even if there is no clear path to follow.



My life is up to me. The past five years have taught me many things. Brought many pains and even more joys. No matter what becomes of Mad William, we look forward to the next five years and the path less traveled.

It's An Honor Just To Be Nominated...

The following message was in my mail today.

During the month of July, the International Blogging Recognition Council (IBRC) had the pleasure of reviewing your blog Mad William. Your blog was referred to IBRC through our Refer-A-Blog program. "Orange..." was the topic that the Council reviewed. Based on the review, the Council has recommended that your blog receive IBRC’s designation of “Recognized Blog”. IBRC reserves this honor to those blogs that effectively connects with the audience and promotes the sharing of ideas and experiences.

We invite you to visit our website at www.ibrcblog.org to learn more about IBRC and our “Recognized Blog” award. Congratulation on your accomplishment.

Sarah L. Tolten

Review Committee Chair

International Blogging Recognition Council

I clicked on the link to check out my award and found out that for a mere $45 I can add my site to IBRC and view my recognition. That's awesome.

Why...It's a major award!

I can be so lucky sometimes.

(did the snar-casm come through in that, or was I too vague?)

R.I.P...

I spent a few days in San Diego. Problems. Problems. Problems.
My computer at the gallery in Oregon has died again. This time for good. This morning my faithful companion and love(my ibook lap top) has died as well. The Apple store pronounced it at 12:43 this afternoon. For who knows how long(until I buy a new laptop), Mad William is off line.

I hope to see you all again very soon. Be well my friends.

Shameless Self Promotion...

I have recently joined the Today.com site as one of their writers. They will actually pay me to write a blog on their site. How cool, and terribly frightening is that? I'm far from an actual writer but I'm going to give it a shot.

So, you will notice in my side bar, Daily Travel Plans, I have a link for my other site. It's called "Modern Man".

If you can, stop by. The more people that visit, the more Today.com will like me.

Thanks.

T.M.I...

How much is too much?

Is blogging a detriment to ones career? Ok, not just any blog, but this one? Do I write about things that a potential employer would object to? Is the thought of a potential employee that blogs, objectionable?

It is very easy to find this blog by googling my real name. If you go to my art website, I have this blog listed at the end of my biography. My art and this blog have become linked. As has my real life and my blog life. Should I keep them separated?

I mentioned to someone, how easy it was to find my blog and how easy it would be to figure out who I really am. They expressed concern if not a slight horror at the idea and asked if that was smart . Until that point, I had not really given it much thought. I have never considered my writing to be offensive or objectionable. Then again, I don't look at my blog the way an outsider, or future employer would either.

I started this blog to write about art. Specifically my art. I have looked at it like part of my biography. It's who I am and what I go through. Everything I do and experience is expressed in, or influences my work. Be it the painting or writing. Is it foolish to think that the two go together?

The people that know me, realize that I embellish and or exaggerate for affect. The people that only read this blog may think that this is a completely accurate account.

Which brings me back to my question.

How much, is too much? Where should I draw line?

More Spare Time...

It's almost 1:30am and I'm still in the studio. Still not sleeping. What's worse is that now I'm not painting either.

The gallery has been keeping me busy with the new artists, doing all of our own framing and most of another galleries framing.

Mr. Man is getting to be more of a handful with each passing day. It's awesome how fast kids learn. When I'm not at the gallery I'm with him. Precious and I still trade off. It's just the two of us to run the gallery and care for Bug.

Now, as if that all weren't enough. I have agreed to take over for the gallery across the sky bridge. It's about fifteen feet from our gallery.

It's basically just a storage space with display for two other galleries in town. The owners would like to try and sell from this space but didn't really want to hire someone to work there.

The doors will stay closed. I'll have a key. If anyone wants to look around they just have to ask.
Just what I needed, right?

*****

Because I'm a Mole, I have made my first guest mole post at Taupes delires, Idol Worship.
I hope that it's worthy of Laurence and the Bee Happy tradition of excellence.

I'm A Mole...

Merci Laurence...

Détails à venir.

Why I Love Bloggers...And Portland

Beta-carotene has sent me this link about the bike pile that I photoed in Portland this week.

Exactly one minute later (according to my inbox) Iron Fist sent me this link about the bike pile.

It's the same site they both link to, but they have different photos on them.

This is sort of public art by a group called ZooBombers.

Thank you both very much. You guys are awesome!

The more I learn about Portland the more I like it.

That's Hot...

I had the best time guest posting for Laurence at Bee Happy. People had the nicest comments. She has some great readers. I am looking forward to reading their sites as well.

This weekend is going to be full of heat, family(in laws), heat, humidity, heat and farm land as far as the eye can see. Did I mention heat? Yes friends, we are headed to Nebraska. That just sent a chill down my spine. Is that ironic? Or just creepy?

I should enjoy the chill while I can. The weather channel is reporting 100 plus temps with high humidity. Oh happy day. I very much dislike heat.

To the rest of the guest posters at Bee Happy, Best of luck, I promise to comment with my support as soon as I return. I will be computer free while we're away.

Guest Posting...

This is my 200th post here at Mad William.

For the occasion I am guest posting in France today. I do love to visit France.

Thank you very much to Laurence from Bee Happy. Hope you like it.

Help...

Mad William has been here for a year now. I must say it's been a great deal of fun. I have been thinking about this post for about a month now. I thought about giving you all something pithy to commemorate, but that's just not me.

Instead I will give this gem I just heard in the gallery.

"This artist has a great sense of color. It's like getting hit in the head with an anvil."

Holding My Breath...

I just read that Heather Anne has retired. Bye Heather, I'll miss you. Another great site down. Every time I find one I love it goes away. If I give you another painting will you stay?

She seemed to be in a better place. I'm glad. She had started blogging to figure things out and apparently she has.

I started blogging to figure things out. It has been a few weeks short of a year ago that I started this. I know less today than I did then. If anything I'm much more confused. I feel like I have lost sight of what I wanted for this site. It has become one post after another of me griping about my boring days and trivial problems. Who wants to hear that?

In the beginning I wanted to use this site to educate the world about art. The art world has made me question my life's dream. It's making me bitter and angry. I've begun to take it out on everyone around me. I've lost the desire to paint. After twenty plus years of spending every waking hour devoted to art it has left me empty.

The gallery that I always wanted and dreamed about has turned into one nightmare after another. I have started to question every decision I make. Each choice for the gallery seems like the wrong one. Each one drags me further under. I wonder how long I can hold my breath before I implode.

Like I said, boring days and trivial problems.

I have always gone through these funks from time to time. Some how this one feels different. I wonder if I will be able to shake it or if I've finally had enough.

Poof...Gone...

How often do people disappear?

Have you noticed it? One day they're there, the next day they're gone. Sometimes I wonder if they were really there to begin with. I don't have the best memory in the world. Did I imagine these people?

Many times it has been my fault. I have a problem letting people get close to me. I move more often than most. It can be hard to get to know someone anyway. Always being the new kid make you build walls. It is easier that way. When I leave, I usually don't even have to say goodbye, so I don't. One day I"m just gone.

Lately I have been thinking about the others like me. Where did they go? Do they think about me and wonder?

Over the years I have met some wonderful people the I will never forget. I wish at times that I had tried to keep in touch with them. I didn't. I didn't try. One day I was just gone.

I know I'm not the only one like me. I have know many others who simply disappeared one day. Without a word. Without a trace. Life is so short and so fast most of the time. I have learned to let go more easily than most. Is it society that has made people...disposable? For lack of a better word.

Blogging has made me think about it much more than I used to. I notice it more now. A person that you meet on your site will leave comments or emails. You respond. It's like you know one another. Then one day the emails and the comments stop.

If they are a blogger themselves you can always check on them. Visit their site. Sometimes the site is gone. I wonder what happened to them. Why they stopped blogging. When I moved, I packed my things and physically left the place I was. In blogging it doesn't matter where you are. Did they not like it? Was it one of us that drove them away? Was it something we said?
Maybe they took it personally.

I used to take it personally when someone would disappear. People I thought were my friends, but I guess were just acquaintances. Sometimes I think about trying to find a few of them. This has been heavy on my mind since Shelly's sister contacted me. Shelly was like me. One day she was gone and no one knew why or where or what happened.

Of all of the people I have know that disappeared on me. I wonder if any of them died. There are 15 of you that I know have died. Is that why the others are gone, or did they just go somewhere else to start over? How many of them think I died?

With blogging it is never really that personal. It's not like I actually know any of you. I have met a few of you, once. Several of you that used to visit don't any more. Your gone from my blog but I know you're still out there. I can see you. Was it me? No, really?

A few of you stopped blogging. Just gone one day. You are the ones I wonder about the most.

There are about two dozen people I have know in real life that I think about on a regular basis. Almost daily. I knew some of them for years. Some were very close for the time we were together. I moved, they moved, and it's over. Gone.

With six billion people on the planet, it is things like this that make me feel very alone. At any minute one or all of you could be gone. So could I.

Will I ever stop thinking about them? I most likely wont run into them on the street one day. Is it worth digging through the past to find them? Do I need that closure? Probably not, but a few of you left a lasting impression on my heart, mind and soul. It is you in part that has inspired my latest series of works. They are all about "Isolation". Each lonely beach is one of you. One of us. Me.

New Addiction...

Have you all seen this yet? flickrvision.com

I'm sure I'm probably the last to know about it. I can't stop watching it.

I'm possessed!

No really, it's very cool.

Genius...Thinker...That's Right...Me Baby!

The lovely and talented Heather Anne has been kind enough to nominate, moi, for a highly coveted "Thinking Blog Award". (rules for the awards can be found here)

I'm at a loss for an articulate thought, let alone words. I can't begin to thank Heather enough.

Now I have the honor of selecting five other blogs that make me think. Oh, the pressure!
Sorry Heather and Scott, you have been tagged already or you would have been on my list for sure.

So, for my list of thinkers, I give you:

1) Romy, of "Incidents and Accidents". It was this site that inspired the title of my blog. I'm a big fan of her writing.

2) Dave, of "Blogography". Where do I begin. He's great.

3) Andre Jordon, of "A Beautiful Revolution". Andre has a complex, simplicity that makes his art very appealing.

4) Pumpkin, of "From My French Window". Like me, she wants to be French. I love to read of her tales about adjusting. She takes some great photos also.

5) Gillian, of "Confessions Of A Young Woman". For someone barely in her 20's she seems to have a good grasp of the world. A great writer and better photographer. She has a bright future.


There you have it. The blogs that make me think...You win a button! Congrats!

Techno Babble...

I have been trying to change my header image for the last two days now. Ever since Blogger changed to its new version I have been having trouble. It has become near impossible to make changes to any part of my site, other than very minor.

Anyone else(of those who use blogger) having these problems?

Before, any photo put on my site could easily be put into the html. The url looked like this:
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/4214/3781/1600/
R5-024-10A%20copy.2.jpg

Now the url looks like this:
http://bp0.blogger.com/_znPFNLX0ghI/RgHLa5aORuI/
AAAAAAAAAIs/pA-eSN6Ouno/s1600-h/R1-028-12A.jpg

Who can explain to me the difference? Why they are uploading differently and/or what I need to do about getting the latter to work in my template?

Blogger and Google have been zero help.

Time to move?

Questions...

I have more questions for all of you.

Of those of you out there, that are in relationships. Living with another person, married, seriously dating...

Of those of you with blogs, how many of you have your partner blog as well?
Do they have their own site? Do they share your site? Do they guest post on your site from time to time.

Did they have a blog when you met? Did they start blogging after you did or want to blog because you were?

What are your thoughts on this. Feel free to give answers to questions that I may have not asked, or share stories of couples blogging. Good, bad or ugly.

Battle Blogging...

When I started this site I really had no idea about how blogging worked or how to get anyone to visit. I signed up for several sites that all claimed they would bring people by the thousands and make me rich.

They were all shoveling some deep do.

I did stay with two of them, Blogorama and Blogexplosion.
Blogorama kind of blows. I am pretty sure I have never had a visitor from their site but I really like the button so I leave it on my site. I have had a few visits from Blogexplosion. They at least make an effort to create a user friendly network for us. Most of the sites I find with them are political with a heavy right tilt. Not my thing.

They have what they call the Battle of the Blogs. You put up your site against another member and let visitors decide who has the best site.

I decided today that I would accept an offer to battle. I put up 25 of my points and went at it.
I won. Go figure. Probably my last battle. I'm not sure I want the kind of traffic these kind of sites bring. After all, I didn't really start this for the site traffic. Sure it's nice, but I much would much rather have you find me from someone who already visits. Besides, I try not to be confrontational. That kind of attitude goes against the whole 'battle" theme.

I signed up for a site called PayPerPost today. They allegedly pay blogger to write about things they write about anyway. After a day of looking at their site and checking it out, I think I will be ditching them also.

*****

Third round of the Volleyball playoffs are over. We lost. I don't want to talk about it. Season over.