Pain is a funny thing. I've experienced a lot of it my life. Been cut and stabbed, burned, had bones broken, eyes poked, had friends killed and loved ones lost, even been hit by a car. Some of these things left scars that will last forever, but the pain I felt at the time was fleeting and faded.
Of all of the things that have hurt me, it was a few simple words that caused the most pain. It was the pain of those words that has lasted the longest. Time does not heal all wounds.
Sometimes it's something simple and silly that brings those pains back.
Sometimes you get a reminder, that every thing you thought you were...you're not. Every thing you thought you had done...you didn't. Every thing you thought you had...you don't. Sometimes every thing you thought was real, is an illusion. It was only real in your head.
It's a rude awakening to find that you have been kidding yourself. It's a harsh reality to be reminded that even the simplest of mistakes, that took only a few moments if your life time and seemed innocent at the time, will haunt you. Some sins and crimes you pay for, for the rest of your life. No matter how much you've payed your debt, you can never pay it back.
Somethings lost, are lost forever and no amount of searching can find them again.
Even if people can forgive, they wont ever really forget. And as long as they remember, you're never really truly forgiven.
A Little Slice Of Alright...
It's midnight am I'm just getting home. Everyone is in bed sound asleep. It's a drag coming home with out being able to talk to Mr. Man or give Precious a kiss and hug, then talk about our day.
But for the first time in way to long, I'm coming home in a good mood. I'm happy and feeling good about life for the first time in a long while.
I started a new job last week. A second new job. I've gone back to cooking. I still have the first new job which I despise. Every day I'm there, a little more of me dies. It's a marketing company. Phone sales. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.
When I left the "dream job" I didn't really have the option of waiting for another dream. I needed an income so I took the marketing gig. It was a check with benefits.
Last week I was offered a job I applied for a month ago. Cooking. It's a nice place with a decent menu and a good crew. It pays better than most kitchens and best of all, I like it.
Last week they had me coming in at 9am banging out prep for the line guys at night. I did a good enough job that they wanted me on the line. Tonight was my first night shift. I like nights and it pays more.
The marketing job started at 6am. I am not a morning person. The night shift at the restaurant starts at 3pm. Much better. I get to spend my mornings with Mr. Man, take him to school, spend a couple hours doing what ever, then go to work. I've been trying to do them both but I don't see that happening for much longer.
I had a good time time tonight. It's a little hectic learning all of the plates and presentations but it was fun and I only screwed up a couple of things. I managed to sear the tips of three fingers, laid my thumb on the grill and burned the back of my hand. I love to cook.
Tomorrow I work the grill, mostly solo. Saturday I'm doing a special catering gig for our chef, off site with a couple of the servers. Should be a hoot.
On top of all of this our housing limbo has come to an end. Sort of. We have until the 18th of January to find a new place to live and move. Oh goody! Like we didn't have enough to worry about.
Why does all the shit hit the fan at the same time? I guess that way there is only one mess to clean up instead of spreading it out over time. Or I at least I hope.
I started packing up the studio today as well as a few things I haven't used in awhile. Time for a big yard sale.
We put up our Christmas tree a couple of days ago. It seemed strange knowing we would just have to take it down in a few weeks. The holidays always manage to bring havoc to my life.
I don't care this year. I'm taking it all with a smile. Tomorrow Mr. Man and I are house hunting in the morning. I'm listening to Christmas songs on the jazz station in my car. I'm thinking of friends I haven't seen for ages but am planning to.
I'm sure the future will have a few more nut shots in store for me, but I think I'm ready. I'm wearing a cup, have plenty of burn cream and carrying big sharp knives.
For tonight, for the first time in some time, it's all good.
Oh yea! Last weekend Mr. Man had his first Karate tournament and did AWESOME!
But for the first time in way to long, I'm coming home in a good mood. I'm happy and feeling good about life for the first time in a long while.
I started a new job last week. A second new job. I've gone back to cooking. I still have the first new job which I despise. Every day I'm there, a little more of me dies. It's a marketing company. Phone sales. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.
When I left the "dream job" I didn't really have the option of waiting for another dream. I needed an income so I took the marketing gig. It was a check with benefits.
Last week I was offered a job I applied for a month ago. Cooking. It's a nice place with a decent menu and a good crew. It pays better than most kitchens and best of all, I like it.
Last week they had me coming in at 9am banging out prep for the line guys at night. I did a good enough job that they wanted me on the line. Tonight was my first night shift. I like nights and it pays more.
The marketing job started at 6am. I am not a morning person. The night shift at the restaurant starts at 3pm. Much better. I get to spend my mornings with Mr. Man, take him to school, spend a couple hours doing what ever, then go to work. I've been trying to do them both but I don't see that happening for much longer.
I had a good time time tonight. It's a little hectic learning all of the plates and presentations but it was fun and I only screwed up a couple of things. I managed to sear the tips of three fingers, laid my thumb on the grill and burned the back of my hand. I love to cook.
Tomorrow I work the grill, mostly solo. Saturday I'm doing a special catering gig for our chef, off site with a couple of the servers. Should be a hoot.
On top of all of this our housing limbo has come to an end. Sort of. We have until the 18th of January to find a new place to live and move. Oh goody! Like we didn't have enough to worry about.
Why does all the shit hit the fan at the same time? I guess that way there is only one mess to clean up instead of spreading it out over time. Or I at least I hope.
I started packing up the studio today as well as a few things I haven't used in awhile. Time for a big yard sale.
We put up our Christmas tree a couple of days ago. It seemed strange knowing we would just have to take it down in a few weeks. The holidays always manage to bring havoc to my life.
I don't care this year. I'm taking it all with a smile. Tomorrow Mr. Man and I are house hunting in the morning. I'm listening to Christmas songs on the jazz station in my car. I'm thinking of friends I haven't seen for ages but am planning to.
I'm sure the future will have a few more nut shots in store for me, but I think I'm ready. I'm wearing a cup, have plenty of burn cream and carrying big sharp knives.
For tonight, for the first time in some time, it's all good.
******
Oh yea! Last weekend Mr. Man had his first Karate tournament and did AWESOME!
Shameless Self Promotion...2009
I struggle with whether or not to post things, like the thing I'm about to post.
Hopefully anyone that reads this, or has read it in the past will already know that I would never imply that you should or ask any of you to buy my work. If you've been around long, I've probably given you one or more of them.
I feel better that way. Really.
However since the rest of the world could possibly see this (it could happen), I'm going to do it.
To the rest of the world; Until I get to know you better and give you things, I would very much appreciate it, if you bought them. At least one. Part of it goes to charity and the rest goes to Mr. Mans college fund.
Thank you very much.
So, with out further ado: *insert trumpets and things here, it's up to you what sound you here*
Hopefully anyone that reads this, or has read it in the past will already know that I would never imply that you should or ask any of you to buy my work. If you've been around long, I've probably given you one or more of them.
I feel better that way. Really.
However since the rest of the world could possibly see this (it could happen), I'm going to do it.
To the rest of the world; Until I get to know you better and give you things, I would very much appreciate it, if you bought them. At least one. Part of it goes to charity and the rest goes to Mr. Mans college fund.
Thank you very much.
So, with out further ado: *insert trumpets and things here, it's up to you what sound you here*
*Our first annual (maybe) Black Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Sale*
www.chadspicknall.com
www.chadspicknall.com
I warn you now, that next week when I mention this again I will most likely say that, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
As always, I love to hear from you and get your opinions about any and all of it. I take it all in and think about it and then do what I want any way. After all, art is personal.
Which ones do you like? Which ones do you hate?
Which ones do you think are well done, and which are complete crap?
(oh I know, there are several that are complete crap, it's all personal and believe it or not, everything I still have has been admired and liked by someone at some point or I would have painted over it by now.)
Which ones could you live with?(not just mine, but any artists work you could live with) And Why?
Who thinks I should give up painting and start playing Darts professionally?
What ever....It's all good.
As always, I love to hear from you and get your opinions about any and all of it. I take it all in and think about it and then do what I want any way. After all, art is personal.
Which ones do you like? Which ones do you hate?
Which ones do you think are well done, and which are complete crap?
(oh I know, there are several that are complete crap, it's all personal and believe it or not, everything I still have has been admired and liked by someone at some point or I would have painted over it by now.)
Which ones could you live with?(not just mine, but any artists work you could live with) And Why?
Who thinks I should give up painting and start playing Darts professionally?
What ever....It's all good.
Opinions Please...
I normally don't put anything with my actual identity on this site. Mainly trying to keep this site from getting me fired or sued. But since my professional life has been adjusted, I can't really see what harm it's going to do to introduce one to the other. At least at this point.
No doubt I will come to regret that last statement but here goes anywho...
I have revamped my website and added a lot of new, and old works. Now I would like a few opinions.
Please take a look and let me know what you think. Good or bad. It all helps.
www.chadspicknall.com
No doubt I will come to regret that last statement but here goes anywho...
I have revamped my website and added a lot of new, and old works. Now I would like a few opinions.
Please take a look and let me know what you think. Good or bad. It all helps.
www.chadspicknall.com
First Thursday...
Laguna Beach has a "First Thursday" art walk every month.
This month I am doing a "Pop Up" event with Arin Contemporary Art. I brought my entire studio.
Sort of a what's it worth to you sale.
About 100 paintings, just to introduce my work to Laguna. We'll see how it goes. I might even take some photos if anything manages to sell. If it doesn't, then all of my work gets a field trip and we try to do another Pop Up some place different next month.
This month I am doing a "Pop Up" event with Arin Contemporary Art. I brought my entire studio.
Sort of a what's it worth to you sale.
About 100 paintings, just to introduce my work to Laguna. We'll see how it goes. I might even take some photos if anything manages to sell. If it doesn't, then all of my work gets a field trip and we try to do another Pop Up some place different next month.
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