Oh, The Things I Hear...

People ask some strange questions from time to time. Sometimes I give them answers they deserve. Sometimes I am left speechless. Either way I get a good laugh out it.


Lady: Do you ever sell any of the work in here?

Me: No. I have never sold a single thing. I keep hoping we will. It would make paying rent much easier.

*****

Man: Did you paint all of these?

Me: Yes. I did. I use twenty different names and work in every style and medium known to man.

*****

Couple: (looking at an acrylic sculpture) Are these things made of ice?

Me: Yes, yes they are. We use special kryptonite light bulbs that keep them frozen.

*****

Lady: Why are these works so expensive?

Me: They're by Picasso and Chagall.

Lady: I've never heard of them. They're not as good as Thomas Kinkade.

Me:................

*****

Man: This area has a lot of talented artists.

Me: Yes it does, but none of our artists are from this area. They come from all over the world.

Man: No way! How do you get the work here?

Me: FedEx, UPS, Mail.

Man: And you're allowed to send art around the world?

Me:.............

*****

Lady: These Dr Seuss prints are really cool. Do you , like, tear them out of the books and sell them here?

Me: Shhhh! We don't want everyone doing it.

*****

Lady: Your sign says that dogs are welcome. So can I bring in my dog?

Me: Sure, your dog is welcome. You have to wait outside.

*****

Man to Lady: What do you think of this painting? Wouldn't it look great in our family room?

Lady to Man: I hate that. We are never having anything like that in our home.
What about this one?

Man to Lady: It's nice, I guess.

Lady to Man: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT? YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS!
THIS IS WHY WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE!


None of this had anything to do with me. I have never felt more sorry for a guy in my life. They had this exchange about four feet away from me, so I just had to share. As sad as it is, this kind of thing happens way more than you would think.