Conjunction Junction, What's Your Function?

Today in the gallery children we are going to learn about sculpture.

First, and this may be just me, but I don't think so, we do not call sculptures, "statues".
This drives me mad. There is a difference. I will explain it to you later.

Here is my favorite conversation from earlier today.

Lady: I love these prints. I might even be able to talk my husband into these. But tell me about these statues.
(she gets a small break for knowing they were prints)

Me: (trying not to sound snobbish) We like to call them sculptures, they're made of bronze. The artist is from Santa Barbara...

Lady: No, that doesn't matter. I mean, tell what they're for.

Me: What they're for?

Lady: Ya, you know...I get the prints. They will go with my furniture and walls and things, but a statue just stands there collecting dust. What's it's function?

Me: It's function?

Lady: There is no way I could talk my husband into a statue. It's cute and all but it just stands there. Where do people put them? What do they do with something like that?

Me: (my mind is struggling with the concept that she sees art as something that needs to be functional) People do the same thing with a sculpture that they do with prints and paintings. It's aesthetic. They add to the richness of your life and home. Art in three dimensions.

Lady: Dust collectors if you ask me. Cute though...