21 March 2012

Words Fail To Express My Feelings...

My Dearest Precious,

As this day of our tenth anniversary has been approaching, I have searched the recesses of my mind looking for the perfect words. The right rhyme or meter. Anything that could accurately express what I truly feel for you. Words will never do.

I keep thinking of the day we met. I was sitting at the end of the desk looking out into the mall. You were wearing your brown paisley skirt and silky button up top, unbuttoned just enough. Brown strappy come hither pumps.

I knew instantly that you would change my life forever. I could never have imagined just how much.

If I were to live a million years I would never be able to return what you have given me. Your constant support (in more ways than one), your understanding, compassion and forgiveness. Your love and your honesty.
Even when it was hard for you to be honest and open with me, you were.

No matter what kind of asshatery I came up with, you have always been there for me.

I know I don’t always deserve you, but I spend every day trying to be the man I know I can be for you.

Everyday my affection and love for you grows. Although this isn’t the way I planned on spending our tenth anniversary, I look forward to the next 73 years of love and adventure. With never a dull moment.

Happy anniversary my love

06 March 2012

Maybe I Get It...

How much would you give up in order to make  100K a year? 200K? 500K?

Think of what's most important to you right now. Would you give that up for the next year or five with nothing but the hope that your life might be better after that point? Once you get to that level, what do you have to give up in order to maintain it?

Can you plan for the future and give up joy and pleasure now in order to possibly have more joy and pleasure in a few years?

It's more than 75 hours a week when it comes down to it, they tell you it's only 42. The pay is crap if you figure it out like that. It's 6 days a week. No sick days, no benefits, no real perks to speak of. Commuting to a different place every day. Mangers that are only money motivated, and love to talk about how much they make. And wouldn't it be great if we made that too. Just jump through our hoops and have blind faith.

It's a life of almost solitude for 4 to 12 months. No life outside of theirs. Being available at a moments notice for everything they need you for. Team nights after works. Team BBQ's on your day off. Team get togethers on your day off. Getting flown across the country late in the evening after you works half a day so you can be in and other state on your day off to spend 10 hours with other leaders and managers to tell you that you're crap if your not all in and how much money they make, and you could make it too, if you jump through the hoops. Picking up visitors and dropping them at the office. Dealing with interviews that have no car. Interviews that don't even show up or call.

Telling you that your concerns and shortcomings are just bullshit excuses for why you're not performing up to your standard. Your reasons and self evaluations are wrong because he used to have a job he hated.

You're either "all in" and committed to giving it all up for the golden carrot hanging in your future or your nothing. You must want to be a manager/owner or you're nothing. Those are your choices. Decide right now!

Maybe I get why 9 of 10 come and go in the few days, the other 1 drops a few days later