10 June 2013

My Greatest Fear...

The heart and emotions are funny things. Logic seldom plays a part in these matters. At least in my world. Love is what rules my life. More than anything else, I need someone to love, and someone that loves me. To hold and touch and kiss and...to keep loving. Today, tomorrow, always.

I have never really been able to make decisions with my head. Logic and common sense always go out the window. My heart jumps in. Emotions swirl about like a hurricane. Sparks fly and I lose control. All logic goes out the window.

I have tried several times to not follow love. Make more sensible choices. Love seldom lasts forever. One person, along the journey, changes their views. There needs change. There wants and desires change. Love fades. Sometimes it tries to changes and adapt. Sometimes things are just broken and can't be fixed.

At one point both halves of a couple are eager and excited to spend time together. Get to know the other persons secrets. What happens when there are no more secrets? What happens when the excitement dims? When the sparks no longer fly?

Love leaves us vulnerable. In order to love you have to be able to let down your walls and your guard. You have to open yourself up to unimaginable pain. Because with great pleasure comes great pain. In my life, love has always ended in great pain. It has almost always been worth it.

In the times of pain I swear I will never love again. I promise myself that I will never let my guard down. Never let anyone in as close again. Never let anyone else know all of your secrets. To never be vulnerable.

I have finally discovered that my greatest fear is not being alone, it's being vulnerable.

04 June 2013


They worked together. Saw each other every day for the most part. Smiles and eye batting. The occasional wink. She was hot and he was flattered. It was fun and innocent.

One day they were standing beside each other. He turned to say hello. Their eyes met, they held the gaze. Then she said, "You have the most beautiful eyes." he was positive that when she said it that her eyes sparkled. Like you see in the movies. a little spark of sunshine glistened in her eyes. he could almost hear the ting sound that goes with it. His pulse doubled, he took in a quick deep breath, and very softly said,
"Thank you." as he continued to look at her. Lost in her gaze. It was over in a second. They got interrupted and each went about their day.

He couldn't stop thinking about what he had seen. It was a spark. Her eyes sparkled.

03 June 2013


noun     a circumstance that complicates something; a difficulty: there is a complication concerning ownership of the site.• an involved or confused condition or state: to add further complication, English speakers use a different name.

"to add further complication..."
That's my personal favorite. 
As if you already had just enough complications, to add further, would just be too much?How much complication is enough? Is there a complications limit a person can hit, or do we just keep piling it on? Do we have to work through each complication before they go away or will some of them just fade away on their own?
"to add further complication, the spark has ignited a fire..."
Well, here's to further complications.