Happiest Place On Earth...?

Sunday we had free tickets for Disneyland. Note to self: Dear Self, Never, ever, go to Disneyland on a Sunday that happens to be Mother's Day as well as Bat's Day.

Holy claustrophobia Batman. The entire park looked like this. Ever corner, every where. Covered in...people! Large, unhappy, short tempered people with strollers. I was run into more than a dozen times. We needed armor. The average wait time for every ride we were interested in was over 60 minutes. The scariest part of all of this...I asked...the park was not at capacity. 

I can't even imaging how miserable this place would be had they actually sold out. The park will close the gates, depending on season passes and walk up guests is between 70,000 and 82,000 people. That equals one person for every 4 to 5 square feet. 

INSANITY! 

  

New Toes...

I forgot to post this last week when I was ranting about the JCrew fiasco.

L'OREAL Au Currant Perle. It's my second favorite color, when I'm not using Glow In The Dark.

Be Who you are. Proudly!

The. Most. Freaky. Thing. Ever! EVER!

In the gallery today, a couple walk in. I think to myself; "Self, I know this guy."

We talk for awhile and I finally have to ask.

"Have you ever been to (Insert State here)?" 

"No", he says,


"Wow, you look just like a guy I went to high school with named John Smith. (Not his real name).

He turn white and looked like he might be sick. Even his girl friend gasped when I said the name.

I stepped back, not knowing what to expect next.

He looked at me, took a deep breath, and said, "My name IS John Smith."

I paused and smiled slightly before I said, "SHUT! UP! Seriously?"

"Seriously." he said softly.

We just stood there starring at one another for what seemed like an hour. I can not think of a more bizarre coincidence in all of my life.

Not only do these two people have doppelgangers, but they have the same name.


(Which as I have just learned is one of the definitions. Look a-likes and or the same name.)

Which is really, really cool.

I don't know what this means, if anything, but it was beyond strange. The universe is quite peculiar at times.

Our Newest Addiction...

Battle Of The Cheetos!




Mr. Man and I are with the Crunchy Alliance.

Been There...Done That...What?

Those that forget history are bound to repeat it.

Oh ya?

What if you do remember history, and the same shit happens again anyway?

Umm...?

It's like the whole Klingon in alternate Universes.

No. That's totally a different kind of mind wedgie. His history isn't repeating. He's going from one reality to another. It's parallel.

You're right. It's the time loop episode.

Ya. That's the one.

So, how many times you think you've been through here?

Beats me. It must be a shit load. The enterprise was stuck for what? A few months? That other ship was there for seventy five years for shit sake. Can you imaging?

I don't have too, I think it's happening to me. I'm stuck in this fucking loop. It's not even a good loop. No money, no girls, no fun. I'm stuck with you losers.

Dude, that's harsh don't you think?

Maybe. What's the difference? It's going to hit the end of the cycle and the loop will start over and we'll be having this same conversation tomorrow. What should I call you next time? Wonder what I called you last time? Or the last thousand times? This has to stop. Maybe you could get you're feet off of my table next time? No matter how many times we go through this, I don't want your feet on my table.

What ever dude. Hey? Why don't we just watch that show and see how they get out of the loop.

Umm...?

Dude? Did you smoke all of that?

Umm.....What?.....No.....What?

When Did This Turn Into A Personal Journal Of Whine?

It's about 5am. I've been awake for several hours now. Can't sleep. I started my new job yesterday. Loved it. This is a lousy time for insomnia. I have a ton of things to learn. My brain hurts from reading. The last two years seem to have turned me into a veg.

On top of that I am feeling claustrophobic in my own body. I'm having sinus trouble. They swell up to where I can not breath through my nose at all. Nothing. In or out. I've tried inhalers. Sprays. Decongestants. Tubes. The pressure builds up to where it gives me migraines. I'm quite sure that if I took an ice pick, and stuck it through one of my eyes into my brain, and swirled it around, that it would feel better than it does right now. Never a shot gun around when you need one.

It's difficult to read and learn things when your head might implode.

On Monday, My in-laws came to visit. Until May. Yep. In-laws for six months. Fortunately they are pretty cool as far as in-laws go. I just need to remember that I can't roam around the house nekid. Well, I can, but, it gets awkward.

*****

I shot this guy at the Wild Animal Park last week. He doesn't usually lay around like this. The rock he's on sits at the top of their enclosure. He has a view of a huge section of the park. I am pretty sure he was watching the zebras. Or small kids, it was hard to tell.

And on a final note before I go find the ice pick, this site will be about art and or something interesting again, very soon. Really.

A Means To Better Understanding...

When I was a child growing up, my Dad ran with the Briefs. I'm sure it was because his dad, my grand father aligned himself with the Boxers. Kids always like to be rebellious.

As it would go, when the choice was mine to make, I wanted to be rebellious too. I wasn't about to hang with the same crowd as my parents. The Briefs were old school. I was free and untamed. Naturally I was drawn to the Commandos. They set their own rules. They were free and no one told them where to go or what to do.

I knew plenty of Briefs in school. Their dads were Boxers. The Briefs were alright guys but we saw things differently. At times I would hang with the Briefs. I tried to keep an open mind. While dating a certain girl in high school I even spent a good deal of time with the Bikini crowd. Who among us hasn't experimented ?

All in all I still found that I enjoyed the anarchistic life of the Commandos.

It was during a trip to Brazil that I met a lovely young lady that introduced me to the Thongs. She made it sound appealing. The exotic nature of it all. I was hung up on what I thought was their restrictive nature. Like the Bikinis, 'butt'...more severe.

Like most men I am easily swayed by an attractive woman. I converted to the Thongs. At first I found them in conflict with my Commando nature. After awhile it became more and more comfortable. I could see the appeal. Close to the Commando but with a little more of a group support system. At times the support was much needed. Who doesn't need a little support now and then?

As I have grown older I have learned that there is no one way to life. It's best to keep an open mind. Knowing about all of the clans makes for a well rounded and comfortable life.

Each of the clans; Boxers, Briefs, Bikinis, Thongs and Commandos has advantages and disadvantages.

I try to unite the best of all the beliefs. Different situations call for different methods. It is by understanding those around us that we can live with those around us, in peace.

Viva la Revolution...

I heard someone whisper my name. I turned and was struck in the side the head. Everything went bright white and fuzzy.

Floating above an arena as if to hold a bull fight I looked down to see the infield of a baseball diamond. The wall was right behind the players. There were two people where the short stop should position would be. The one closest to second base was wearing what looked like a large heavy black apron.

A ball had been hit right to him. He was using a catchers mitt but fielded it cleanly. He ran toward the pitcher mound as if looking for where to throw the ball.

Suddenly I was on the ground, watching this all happen in front of me. Was I an umpire? One of the other players. The ground was hard packed clay. Shiny and smooth except for where cleats had made small holes and bug up small chunks of the ground. The man in the apron still holding the ball was frantic. Looking from side to side, desperate to throw the ball to someone. Anyone. As if his life depended on it.

In a small room there were six of us. All sitting on small squares of white cardboard. They undulated under us as if placed on top of a water bed. The room was dark yet I could see each of us clearly. There was a man I guessed to be in charge, or the leader. A guru type figure I had never seen before. He sat, legs folded in front of him, back straight, eyes closed and softly chanted. What I did not know and could not understand. A girl I knew from high school sat on his left in the same position. It was odd. She had died almost 20 years ago. I was pleased to see her. She was having trouble staying on her square of cardboard as it moved up and down.

I stood and walked away from them. As I turned to face them all and look at the other three figures I feel to ground. Back to the arena. I was the man in the apron, still holding the ball. A runner was going from first to second base when I spun and threw the ball to the second baseman. The runner was tagged out by the other player. The umpire held his arms wide to call him safe. I fell hard to the ground, distraught with grief. In agonizing pain. My face was laying on the hard cool clay of the field. My eyes sprung open a torrent of tears. Like a fire hydrant had oped between my face and the ground. Water was quickly running across the clay covering the surface.

The umpire stood over me looking down, puzzled at my expression of pain and sobbing. The runner who had been called safe was jumping up and down. He ran toward me with a look of utter satisfaction and joy. He knelt down close to my face and screamed "Viva la revolution, viva la revolution. I am sorry for you friend but it is a joyous day for me". He stood and ran away. Jumping and screaming the phrase viva la revolution, over and over.

Another Reason Hollywood Sucks...

How many times has Hollywood made movies that were 3 to 4 hours long that totally stunk up the theater? To many to count.

So why, when you have a, money in the bank franchise like Harry Potter, do you try to cram a 900 page book into 2 hours? It's not like they are going to make it so long that fans wont go.

In case you are wondering, I just saw the new Potter movie, "Order of the Phoenix". It was like watching the Cliff notes. They left out entire story lines and when they couldn't cut things out they changed the story. Sure it was a good movie from a movie stand point. From a fan of the books I was a little disappointed.

Did this directer never see the Lord of the Rings trilogy? They filmed three movies at the same time. Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2. One story, two movies. What ever happened to intermissions?

Has our collective attention spans gotten so small that we can't or.......

Into A foreign Land...

Our trip to the Apple store in Portland made for a very long day.

No mew Mac.....Yet.

The Apple guy spent about two hours working on the gallery machine. I am sad to report that he fixed it. Sort of. It at least is back among the living, but I still can't get into our email, contacts, inventory. All of the things I really need. Apparently all of the files are still there. Some kind of corruption is keeping the software from opening. I get to erase all of the affected software and re-install it. I'm told, that should fix our problems.

If it still doesn't work after that, then I get my new toy.

While we were there(Mr.Man went with)I did get the upgrade for my iBook. But the only reason I got it was to run the new iPhoto6. Which I have since found is not compatible with my iBook. So I bought the upgraded OSX for nothing. Of course I have already installed it so it can't be returned. I can send back the iLife stuff though. I'm so disappointed. I really wanted the new iPhoto. It holds 250,000 photos.

It was the first time in years that I have been inside of a mall. These mall people are of a different sort than I. Strange and foreign. I don't speak shopping mall lingo. I felt very out of place.

Stuff, Stuff And More Stuff...

It must be something in the air. I'm in the mood to get rid of almost everything I own. I started going through our garage and my studio boxing things up. I found things that I have not seen for years. Most of them I had no memory of. I must have bought them at one point. I just don't know why. Any meaning or attachment has long faded.

The older I get the less I want or need. As often as we move, I'm tired of hauling this crap-ola across country. I want simple, uncomplicated, clutter free. All of this stuff clouds my brain. When I'm in a room full of "stuff" it make me claustrophobic. Antique stores freak me out.

So what do I do with the still expanding, stack of boxes and plastic bins full of my past? Yard sale? eBay? Craigslist? Goodwill? Charity? Bonfire? Maybe I could bury it all. A time capsule of junk. What would future archaeologists think when the found that stash? Most likely that they had found a land fill.

*****

Many months ago I tried to start my own Non profit organization to help promote arts in public schools. Well, after months of paper work, lawyer fees and more bureaucrats than I could beat with a stick, I have been denied status.

So in order to fulfill my need to give, I have started a list of my favorite charities. Every time I sell one of my paintings I will give a portion of the profit to one of the charities. Up first is the "Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America".

If there are charities you like, please let me know. I will add them to my list. If you don't want to buy a painting but still want to help you can donate on your own or contribute here, in my side bar under "Art Saves Lives". Everything helps.

Resolution...At Last

This is my new ride. It's huge! Well, compared to my car. Ok, this isn't really mine. I have it until my car is out of the shop.

A month and a half ago my car was run into. Well, I have finally gotten the lady and her insurance company to get my car fixed. I am so excited.

So for the next few days I get to drive this monster. I have been hauling things back and forth from the gallery. It is kind of fun to have it. I get tired of borrowing or renting trucks.

As fun as this is, it sucks the gas and it's a bugger to park. I can't wait to get my baby back.

The Most Frightening Thing I've Learned In Years...

After digging up the past I have made an astounding discovery.

In the last twenty years, I have put on 65 pounds.

Several of you have met me now. I'm not over weight. At 6'3" I am currently 225. Normal.

65 pounds!

Where have I put them all?

It's freakin me out man!

I need a donut.

Game On...

Our volleyball team has managed to make it into the play offs. Alright, to be fair, all the teams made it. As bad as we are, we were not in last place. Next to.

Yesterday was our first play off game. We won. Yes I said that right. We won. Fine, the other team had to forfeit because only two of them showed up. Still a win. The momentum is ours now.

Tomorrow night we play game two. Here I am at practice calling the shots.


Oops, my bad. We don't practice. Different game. Not me. Although I do look good in a speedo.

A-Musing

Oh muse, I would very much like to paint today.
Hello, are you there muse?

Maybe I will do home work until you come back.

Oh muse, I would really like to paint today.

I'm sorry I did not listen to you yesterday when you were here.
I played with the dog instead.

You were here the day before that.
I'm sorry but I wasn't feeling well.

Oh muse, I have the time today.
Mr. Man is asleep. Precious is asleep. The dog is asleep.
I am wide awake and I would very much like to paint today.

I promise I will never put you off to watch TV.
Again.
I won't sit in front of the computer when I know you you are in the house.
Again.

Oh muse, where have you gone?
I know you are upset with me,
Please come back oh muse.

I don't want to do home work,
there is nothing worth watching on TV.

Oh muse,
I would very much like to paint today.

For the love of...

Yesterday I went to feed Mr. Man's fish and it was gone. No one flushed it. Mr. Man is too small to get to it. We don't have cats. It was just gone.

Where does a fish go? How did it go?

I was married once, long ago. One day I came home and found that the love was gone.
We were big enough. We did have cats. It was just gone.

Where does the love go? How did it go?

The fish, I am pretty sure was always there. The love, I not so sure.
The fish I can replace. You go to the store and pick out a new one. It's close to the same and it never seems to matter that it's a different fish. A fish is a fish.

The love, I have no idea how to replace. Hearts have minds of their own.

I did find love again. I have been in love many times in my life. Had my heart broken many times, and broken a heart or two as well.

I broke her heart when I told her the love was gone. Even as I said it I was not sure if that was true. I felt for her deeply but it had changed over time. I had changed.

Over the years I have always followed my heart no matter what my head was telling me.
Soon after I had left her, she died.
Often I wonder if it was my breaking her heart that killed her.

Did I not love our fish enough? Did I break its heart?