05 September 2006

For the love of...

Yesterday I went to feed Mr. Man's fish and it was gone. No one flushed it. Mr. Man is too small to get to it. We don't have cats. It was just gone.

Where does a fish go? How did it go?

I was married once, long ago. One day I came home and found that the love was gone.
We were big enough. We did have cats. It was just gone.

Where does the love go? How did it go?

The fish, I am pretty sure was always there. The love, I not so sure.
The fish I can replace. You go to the store and pick out a new one. It's close to the same and it never seems to matter that it's a different fish. A fish is a fish.

The love, I have no idea how to replace. Hearts have minds of their own.

I did find love again. I have been in love many times in my life. Had my heart broken many times, and broken a heart or two as well.

I broke her heart when I told her the love was gone. Even as I said it I was not sure if that was true. I felt for her deeply but it had changed over time. I had changed.

Over the years I have always followed my heart no matter what my head was telling me.
Soon after I had left her, she died.
Often I wonder if it was my breaking her heart that killed her.

Did I not love our fish enough? Did I break its heart?

1 comment:

Jules said...

I love this post. Really good writing, plus I can relate to it so much. Thanks!