22 December 2010

Making A Difference...

For years I've been writing about wanting certain things in my life to change. It's really sad, just how long I've been writing those same words.

My problem?

It's not that I don't really know. I think I do. I just can't admit it to myself yet. The motivation is there. I have the why. Meaning, I have something that I need to change for. Maybe I'm just lazy.

What I realize now, that I had not before, is that I can't make a problem change, by doing and acting the same way that caused the problem.

Insanity, is doing the same things over and over while expecting a different result. Clearly I'm insane. I keep doing the same things over and over and expecting things to turn out differently.

Well, now I'm on the path to actually change things. I'm doing something differently. I have a mentor that I believe in. And he in me. Which is already a big difference.

It could be that I'm selfish and ungrateful, but I have never really felt like I've had the best support. From anyone really. But this is no pity party.

Change the way you do things, and things will change. At least the outcome will be different than it has been. Let's hope anyway.

Maybe I should work on my attitude first?

14 December 2010

My New Sideline...

I have found a new business that I have been playing with. Two actually. It's quite a change from the art world. But I like it a great deal.

Sometimes you have do things out of your comfort zone. This is out of my zone. A good friend told me about SISEL and the products. Nutritional supplements, personal and home products. All 100% toxin free. A very Green company. Which is nice.

At first, I was instantly against this. Until I tried a few of the products. Eternity and FuCoyDon. After a couple of months, I hate to admit, but they work. They work well. I physically, feel better than I have in a very long time. (still working on my mental well being)

I encourage everyone to give these products a try. Feel better and live better.

10 December 2010

Point Of View...

It's all about how you see things. Two people looking at the same thing, but neither of them see it the same. They may have, from time to time. From certain angles. Similar, parallel, but never quite the same.

Maybe it's the definition of terms used. Fantasy can be Star Trek or My Little Pony. Similar, but no where near the same.

You go along and you want to believe that you are both seeing the same things. That you are both getting the same experience from the journey. But you're not. To one, this has always been one of the strengths. Two sides of every story. It's only now and then, that you notice differences in perspective. Interesting observations you hadn't noticed. A view from which you had not been privileged to before.

Then one of you says, "You know, maybe I don't ever want to watch My Little Pony again. Discuss...".

At first, this seems to come from no where. Then you give it some thought. They must have been thinking about this for a while. You don't just wake up one day and say no more MLP. People think about things. They mull them over. They talk to strangers on benches about how much they want to leave MLP behind and run away. Leave all their troubles and worries behind. It's only then do they mention it to their other.

There have been signs that MLP was a strain on the journey. Communication has always been a weakness for them. Things get looked over. Ones focal point is a little different than the other.

The hurt and painful parts of the journey, you over looked. For better, or worse. No matter how much you were hurt, you took that pain and stuffed it deep in the back of your darkest grey matter and you forget it. Because that is what you do. The joys of the journey mean infinitely more than the momentary pain. That is why you have one an other. To be there for the other. And to have someone when you need help.

Which is great...for one. The other though? They have a different perspective on things. To the other, maybe the journey is about something else. Maybe to the other it was about more than just the other. It's such a little thing to one and such a large thing to the other.

Two people looking at the same thing. One sees a boulder, the other sees a marble.

So now it's out there. One of you is tired of My Little Pony. Tired to the point that they would rather journey in a different direction. It annoys them that you always see marbles when there is clearly a boulder in front of you.

You see, the burden is directly proportional to the point of view. They look at the same thing. One sees a marble, they pick it up and they play. The other sees a boulder and tries to carry it on their own which is very difficult and causes undue stress, strain and worry. Not seeing it doesn't make it any less real. It's real to the one.

The one with the marble doesn't understand why the other won't just set the boulder down. The two of them together could figure out what to do with the boulder. The one with the boulder doesn't understand why the other is incapable of helping and would rather play with marbles while they carry the boulder alone.

Worlds apart, separated by a point of view.

02 December 2010

Welcome To Baghdad...You Are Truly Free Now...

Yesterday as I dropped Mr. Man at school, I was stuck in a 50 car traffic jam. The problem was that a few of the parents had decided that they should park in the clearly marked, NO PARKING FIRE LANE, instead of using the dozens of empty parking spaces that were no more than 25 feet from where they were stopped illegally.

It didn't matter to the few in the red zone, that they were holding up about 50 other parents that were following the rules.

Everyone just sat there. These few pew people were screwing things up for everyone. And everyone just sat there.

I couldn't help myself. I very politely mentioned to a couple of the offenders that they were blocking traffic by stopping in the red zone. Which, according to the DMV, last time I checked, was illegal every where, not just in school parking lots.

Before I even finished my sentence, one of the women jumped out of her car and started screaming at me. "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKIN BUSINESS!...."

It only got worse from there. I stood silently, with this woman just inches from my face screaming at me about what a fuck I was, and everyone else was doing it, and blah blah blah.

I thought about knocking her out. I thought about giving her a hug. Instead, I shook my head, and told her I felt sorry for her, and I walked away. She was still screaming obscenities at me as I left.

I want a new rule. If you want to act in an uncivilized manner and behave the way this woman and the others like her. Fine. But we, as a civilized society, should be able to ship their dumb asses to the Middle East, or Somalia, or any where else people act like barbarians. Where there are no rules and you can be the biggest douche bag you want to be.

We have all become so afraid of sticking up for what's right for fear of offending someone else, or being sued. We have these rules for a reason. If you think you are above those rules, fine. Enjoy Iraq, and your world with no rules. You'll get dropped off with a Bible and a tee shirt showing a terrorist Muhammad on it. See just how special you really are.


...is the color of courage. The Purple Belt symbolizes that a student has started to unite mind, body and spirit.

For all of the work, I am not feeling very united.