23 December 2008

Good Morning Wood...

In the rare occasion that I happen to get up in the morning before Mr. Man does, I like to sneak into his room and lay down next to him. He is such a happy kid in the morning.(most mornings anyway)

As he wakes we talk about dreams and breakfast.

This morning it went like this:

With his eyes still closed I hear:

"Morning Daddy. Are all of the presents still under the tree?"

Yes they are.

Phew. That's good. Is there a bad dream stuck in my Dream Catcher? I thought I had a bad dream but I'm not sure, so if the Dream Catcher has it I want to see.

No dreams still in it. When the sun comes up the dreams disappear. That way they can't come back.

Should my penis be standing up? It does that every morning. Is that ok? What happens if it's not standing up? Is that ok too? What's for breakfast? Is mom up yet?

Yes. Yes. Nothing yet. Yes. Pancakes. Yes.

Thanks Dad.

22 December 2008

On The Easel...13...Thud Moment

At any given moment in time, a fraction of a second, that changes everything. The universe is altered ever so slightly, but it's more than enough to change the course of events from that moment on. There's no going back.

If you're very lucky and paying close attention, you just might hear it.


Oh how I wish it were truly an audible sound for all to hear. Just in case you had your ear buds in, listening to your latest down load or pod cast. Someone near you may of heard your Thud and they could give a heads up.

Dude, That was a close one. Thanks for the heads up.

Truth is, we seldom hear the Thud until much latter. Going back in our minds where no one can hear our screams but us, we re-play the situation. We watch our selves as if a bystander, and there it is...


Son, of, a, bee-atch! How did I not see that one coming? Did you hear that? That was one heck of a Thud.

Ah, but such is life. The crystal clear vision that is hind sight. I seldom have my narrator when I need her.

Life gets funny at times. Not so much a funny Ha Ha, but more a funny peculiar. Like an aroma. Not necessarily an inviting aroma but it doesn't make you gag either. Tolerable, in a curious sort of...

So. Off. Track...real it in...

The first hour or so. A wash of blues, greens, red and just a touch of black and white. 36 x 48 inches on canvas. She has a few issues with alignment, but who doesn't. I'll fix them. I had to share. I'm very excited about this one for some reason. But I'm stopping. It's like late. Early. take your pick.

If I'm lucky, I may have her done in five to ten...years, we'll see.

Did you hear that? Some one is Thudding.

17 December 2008

Perception vs Reality...

I have a really bad habit of letting my idealized perception of certain things, impair my judgment to the point that the reality, is disappointing and at times heart breaking.

For example:
From the time I started my study of art, one of the things I idealized more than almost any other, was Florence Italy. The birth place of the Renaissance. A period that changed and enlightened humanity. Some of the greatest works of art that have ever been created by man were made in Florence.

I always thought of Florence to be this same place of enlightenment. I thought everything would be perfect and beautiful.

It wasn't. It was a modern city, with ugly buildings, pollution, graffiti and litter. Everywhere you looked were cheap Chinese made Davids on key chains. Venus' on tee shirts, Tourists defacing walls and making a mockery of everything I had dreamed about. It still nearly brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

Maybe it's the romantic in me. Maybe I spend too much time dreaming. Maybe I'm just naive. Florence, if taken for what it is, is still a fabulous city with treasures around every corner. But in my mind it will always be tarnished. I feel like humanity has lost something special and replaced it with a tourist attraction.

I will most likely never go back because the city can never meet the expectations that I see in my mind. I would rather think of her as I do, than what she has become.

As I get older I have added more and more places to the list of which I can never return. I can't seem to stop idealizing certain things. And inevitably I keep getting disappointed by the reality that things have become.

Don't get me wrong. There have been many places that I loved more in reality than there are disappointments. It's just that I find myself doing the same thing in everyday life. I build things up in my head to where the reality will never be able to compete.

I'm not sure I will ever be able to stop living in my fantasy world. I've been here too long. What I need to learn, is how to find a happy medium. Allow myself to see the reality along with the fantasy.