28 July 2008

Sadistic Cruelty....

How long must we face off like this? Back and forth we go. Face to face or across the room.

Empty. Depleted. Exhausted. I pour my heart and soul into this. Into us. Into you. I give and give and give some more. When there is nothing left but the shell of my former self. A broken man. Somehow I find a little more to give you. For us.

Bloody and broken. You've beaten me down.

Why must I love you? Why must you hurt me? Hurt beyond my comprehension of pain. So simple in your cruelty. Silence. Cold, distant and indifferent. That's the cut that goes the deepest. Your ease with indifference. Your most lethal weapon and you can use with out a care or effort. You're a natural.

I can no longer see where each of the scars begin or end. There are so many.

How many others has there been before me? How many gave their lives to you? All eager and willing to walk into the mouth of hell. Hand in hand.

I lash out in my sorrow. I say things I don't mean. I love you. I have more for you. Don't go. Don't leave me. I need you.

You're expressionless and silent. You stare back at me as if I don't even exist. Say something! Do something! Give me something! Please! Please...

Your silence. Your silence shatters me. This time the slice had intent. Purpose.

A rush of searing heat and the pain begins to wash away. This slice was the last. Soon you wont be able to hurt me. I will be free of you and your sadistic cruelty. I can't look at you, but I can hear you. Watching me.

Silent.

Indifferent.

******

This story is fictional, and has no basis in my life or the lives of anyone I know or have ever known.

Oh, I have a new Macbook. Hi kids, I'm back.


16 July 2008

R.I.P...

I spent a few days in San Diego. Problems. Problems. Problems.
My computer at the gallery in Oregon has died again. This time for good. This morning my faithful companion and love(my ibook lap top) has died as well. The Apple store pronounced it at 12:43 this afternoon. For who knows how long(until I buy a new laptop), Mad William is off line.

I hope to see you all again very soon. Be well my friends.

09 July 2008

In My Head...

Some events in life seem to make a person reminisce. Like being away from family or loved ones. When we're all together, I don't spend much time thinking about our history.

It's a well documented history, with journals, letters and photos. I don't look at them very often. Other things take up our time and we get caught up in just getting from B to C that we forget about A.

For the most part, A was pretty darn great, but I have a feeling that C is going to be better.

Our summer of dysfunction is almost over. Arrangements to make. Things to pack and pitch. More back and forth. Planning and re-planning. Much art to sell. I wish I were a better sale person.(sometimes) I don't like sales. I don't have the killer instinct in me. It sure would come in handy right now.

Our new gallery space is so clear in my head. I spend too much time there and not enough here, finishing things. There is much to do and little getting done. I've noticed that I spend a great deal of time, in my head.

Is it all some elaborate master plan? Do we make our own reality? Is it all relative? Were my relatives replaced by pod people? I don't recognize them anymore. Maybe it's me that I don't recognize.

07 July 2008

Votes Are In...

Those in the inner sanctum have been interviewed and it has been decided that I shall continue to wear the speedo.