15 December 2009

Illusions...

Pain is a funny thing. I've experienced a lot of it my life. Been cut and stabbed, burned, had bones broken, eyes poked, had friends killed and loved ones lost, even been hit by a car. Some of these things left scars that will last forever, but the pain I felt at the time was fleeting and faded.

Of all of the things that have hurt me, it was a few simple words that caused the most pain. It was the pain of those words that has lasted the longest. Time does not heal all wounds.

Sometimes it's something simple and silly that brings those pains back.

Sometimes you get a reminder, that every thing you thought you were...you're not. Every thing you thought you had done...you didn't. Every thing you thought you had...you don't. Sometimes every thing you thought was real, is an illusion. It was only real in your head.

It's a rude awakening to find that you have been kidding yourself. It's a harsh reality to be reminded that even the simplest of mistakes, that took only a few moments if your life time and seemed innocent at the time, will haunt you. Some sins and crimes you pay for, for the rest of your life. No matter how much you've payed your debt, you can never pay it back.

Somethings lost, are lost forever and no amount of searching can find them again.

Even if people can forgive, they wont ever really forget. And as long as they remember, you're never really truly forgiven.

4 comments:

Christine said...

"Mad William is over 40."

Hilly said...

I often find it impossible to forget even though I try really hard to forgive. Then I wonder if I really am forgiving. Sigh.

Squeak said...

What the heck did you do now?

Christine said...

Merry Christmas, MW!