12 September 2010

A Lack Of Creative Thought Is Ruining My Childhood...And Humanity

I have always been a big fan of cartoons. I love them. Almost all of them. I have a few favorites that I watched as a kid. With Boomerang I have been able to share those classics with Mr. Man.

This morning we got up and were looking for a toon to watch before breakfast. (I will allow a toon or two in the mornings if things are going well)

Anywho...

I see that Scooby-Doo is on. I love Scooby and the gang. Except...this one is a little different. Ok so far, I can live with a few updates of technology. I can even live with the fact that Cacey Kasem doesn't always do the voice of Shag anymore. I can put up with the show being made into really bad live action movies. I will take the fact that they keep wanting to change the way the characters dress.

What I can't take, what I wont take, is major alterations to the personalities of the characters.

This morning, Scooby heard Shag wrestling in the bushes. Being the true hero that Scooby is, he jumped into the bush to save his best friend.

What he found...what I witnessed...was one of the most horrendous, most disturbing, most disgusting abomination of a classic that I have ever seen. And I have seen some horrific alterations to TV and it's shows and characters over the years. But this...the image is still burning in my brain hours later. I may never be able to forget the horror. The tragedy. The complete prostitution of a classic character. Years after I'm dead I will roll in my grave thinking about this crime. Yes crime. A piece of my childhood has been stolen and forced to into the sex trade.

Wait for it.....

As Scooby jumped through the bushes....He discovered....Shag.....and Thema.....

Oh the humanity!

Shag and Thema ....were KISSING! KISSING!

Why! Why!? Why?

Now, I am far from a prude. I'm a big fan of kissing, dating, goo-goo eyes, and even sex on television. I think it's far better than the violence that we see every where. Even in kids shows.
When it comes down to it I will pick sex over violence every time.

But this....there is absolutely no excuses for this. They can justify it any way they want. There is no reason for this. The gang does not kiss one another. The gang was all about the subtle and at times not so subtle innuendo and implied sex that may or may not have been happening between Fred and Daph. That is all there ever was. That is all there ever should be.

Scooby-Doo, and all other classic toons do not need to be altered to the miss-shappen, dysfunctional, ADHD ridden youth of today. If they don't get the classics in classic form, then we have failed the youth. If they wont watch unless the gang is getting jiggy with each other, then we have failed society. Our future has no chance of evolving into anything greater and we are doomed to a future of mindless debauchery and total ignorance that is "reality" television.

What's next, Captain Cave Man selling insurance? Jabber Jaws being sliced up and served as sushi? The Flintstones become swingers?

Why? Why would anyone in their right mind want to do this? What kind of sick and twisted mind would do this? How much money did it take, for these douche bags in suits to sell our past of fond memories and childish laughter and turn it into Sex in the City?

How sad as humanity become that we are unable to come up with anything original that we have to destroy the past of a generation?

Where do we draw the line?



1 comment:

delmer said...

I'd heard Shag and Thelma had a thing going on and, I gotta say, I don't care for it. I care for it even less than I cared for Scrappy Do.

The gang needs to focus on solving mysteries... not hooking up with each other.