16 January 2016

Think About Life Alone...

Why do you talk about me as if I weren't around? Why do you talk about our son as if he were only yours? Have you even considered that one of these days he will want to come live with me? Because he will. We didn't give him a choice as you decided that he's better off with you.  How much thought have given to what life will be like alone? You know, the life you expect me to accept without question. The life you keep telling me wont be as bad as I have imagined it being.
It's all about you and what your needs. You say it's because I can't take care of him. Maybe not right this moment, I can't, or at least not to your standards, but I will be able to very soon. What then? Are you willing to give him up as easily as you think I should give him up?
Have you thought about what it's going to be like, to be in your home and it's completely silent? No sounds of happy kid. No sounds of animals playing or fighting or running amok. Just you. The sound of your own thoughts echoing through your head and empty home. Have thought about life without him? Without any of it?  With out everything we spent the last 17 years working toward. Just you? Alone!
Just like you are asking me to accept. I hope you can live with it as easily as you expect me to live with things, because one day soon, he will want to live with me.
Enjoy your solitude and try to remember the bullshit you fed me about it all being alright.

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