Puppy, Free To A Good Home......

This is Duke. He is a Neapolitan Mastiff. He's three and half years old, well behaved.



Ok, it's not actually a real puppy, well he was, but I'm talking about this painting. It's an oil on canvas board, 8 x 10 inches.

It is free to a good home. Just comment and tell me you want it and can provide a good home.

Why, you ask?

Because it will make me feel better. That's why.

Breaking Point...

Is it something in the air? Do the powers that be, actually conspire to make things suck? Blame the weather, the media, the ass hat in front of you doing something stupid and uncalled for. Maybe it's pressure from the universe or aliens. What ever the hell it is, could someone please make it stop.

It's everywhere. Someone asked,"Is it just me?" No, it's not. It's a lot of us. It's everywhere you go. The things you read. Listen to. Watch. Sad, miserable, overwhelming...no end in sight to the despair and pain.

Makes a person wonder why. Why, is this all there is? Why, doesn't it ever seem to get better? Why, wont it end? Why, can't I get past this? Why, can't I ride my bike far enough to forget? Why, can't I eat a meal with out getting something on my shirt? Why, can't I let go? Why, can't I see the end? Why, is it 42 degrees, raining, hailing and snowing, in the middle of June? Why, am I stuck in this pit of self doubt? Why.....

I paint. I write love letters. I talk to Precious and Mr. Man. I email friends. I joke. In the end, all I really want to do is collapse into a heap in bed, pull the covers over me and sob. The only reason I don't, is because I don't think it would make me feel one bit better.

My grand mother used to tell me that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Well Gram, can you mention to God, I'm about to break.

It's Not Just The Thought That Counts...

Do you ever make plans, or even set those plans into motion, and somehow they still don't quite seem real? Surreal, if you will. Well...welcome to my hood. The last couple of months, or the last couple of weeks in particular have been more than odd.

Being away from Precious and Mr. Man is much more difficult than I had anticipated. Not just for myself. I know now that I never want this to happen again. No matter what the out come of this summer, this time apart is not going to be worth it.

I will admit, there are a couple of things that I had forgotten about, that our separation has reminded me of.

One of those things, and my favorite, is the Love Letter. A lost and dying art form. There was a time that I wrote many love notes and letters. Actual pen to paper. When Precious and I were first getting to know one another, love notes were a regular occurrence. I still have most all of them. (I'm a bit sentimental about certain things)

As the years have passed and our relationship has grown, our notes and letters have decreased to special occasion. The sentiment is still there, it's the gesture that's faded. At least until recently. Even though our most recent notes and letters to one another have been digital, the thoughts and feelings are the same. I think it's the gesture that really means the most. There is something wonderful about seeing another persons words, expressing their feelings for you. Somehow they seem to have more meaning, or more impact than spoken words. You have to go out of your way to write it down.

I for one am planning on sending and leaving more love notes and letters. Not only while we're apart, but after we are reunited. I think everyone should. Spread the love people.

Vodka Is Your Friend...

Duh!

A Few Things I'll Never Forget...

Do you remember the first time we met? It's as clear as this morning to me. Those few seconds changed the way I look at life.

The first time we were out together, we were not really together then. You flashed me and I missed it. You blushed. On the dock, we stood close, to block the wind. But not too close. Do you remember what you asked me? Would it affect our friendship if we kissed? It still makes me smile. My reaction surprised me. I had wanted to hear it, but it caught me off guard. We walked back to my car in silence, although I did put my arm around you. I fell in love with you that night.

Do you remember our second kiss? You asked if I would put my hand on the side your face, like I did the first time we kissed. I smiled. We kissed. My hand gently upon your face.

I was so pleased when you joined me in California. The first time. Do you remember our first day in the apartment? The sun was beaming through the kitchen window. It warmed our skin. I got rug burns.

Do you remember when I went away? The first time? It felt like a life time. A life time ago. All the things I put you through. The second time I went away, you asked me to. I was sad, but you were right. Do you remember when you came to visit me? My apartment downtown. You used the shower. You wore a towel and we drank wine. I said you couldn't spend the night. You were sad, but I was right.

We were apart when you asked me to go away with you. Do you remember what you said? You had a trip for two. Acapulco. We traveled well together after all. All I had to do was make love to you at least once a day, everyday we were there. I remember, that we did.

Since then, I've seen the world. Thanks to you.

Do you remember Benihana's? It wasn't what I had in mind. I never could keep a secret. I just had ask. I was so excited. A proposal over sushi. As long as I agreed to 83 years.

Do you remember the day the stick turned blue? I made you do it again. So much for very unlikely. Our time has never been dull.

It seems as though we've been apart for ages. Not even a fortnight yet. A lifetime. I've never enjoyed being away from you. From that first day, to this one. I'm at my best, by your side.