I had lived in the Pacific Northwest before. I have lived in many places that had winters. Cold and foul weather. I never imagined that coming back to the northwest, after close to ten years in places of constant summer, would be so hard. It has been 10 months now. It's not just the northwest. It's small town northwest. I am pretty sure it's the small town part of this equation that I am still having trouble with. Even though I grew up in small towns, I have clearly been away from them for too long. I don't understand many things. I have become a snob. My expectations of others are unrealistic. Do I make things better by lowering my expectations or am I giving up? Is it fair for me to expect so much?
I have been told that I need to be more realistic. That I tend to spend too much time dreaming and worse, following those dreams. Is that a bad thing? What am I if I don't follow my dreams?
I know I have written about this same thing many times. That's what these sites are for right? Working these things out. Some days I'm at a total loss.
*****
The day is cold, and dark, and dreary:
It rains, and the wind is never weary:
The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.
My life is cold, and dark, and dreary:
It rains, and the wind is never weary:
My thought still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast
And the days are dark and dreary.
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining:
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining:
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
*****
Yes, it's been raining for the last two weeks. Do you think it's getting to me?
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2 comments:
I don't know how you west-coasters do it... over here on the east side of the Cascades, we've got sun almost every day of the year. I'd go nuts without it.
Dreams are good, expectations are necessary, and small towns are simply small towns. Maybe you could schedule an exhibit in one of our galleries over here and get a break from the gloom while you're at it?
I think there is always a period of adjustment, grey weather on top of a small town is a lot to adjust to! Spring is on it's way. I bought some hyacinths a couple weeks ago at the local Farmer's Market, I've found that just having them sitting on my kitchen counter instantly brightens my mood and gives me new hope.
Hang in there! It's good that you're working through these things!
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