09 November 2007

Playing With Fire...

After several weeks of the most beautiful fall weather, the rain has returned. I've been watching it out the window of my studio. Pacing back and forth. Sorting paintings, drawings and stacks of things from one pile to another.

I stood in front of my canvas for what I thought was a few minutes. It was an hour and a half.

More pacing. More sorting. I have been changing channels for I don't know how long. Still haven't seen anything for more than a few seconds. I'm not sure why I'm even doing it.

Precious and Mr. Man have been asleep for hours. Every now and then I sneak upstairs to kid myself I'm going to bed. I poke at the fire. Sparks dance and fade away. I stand over Mr. Man and stare. He talks in his sleep. My mind wanders into the future. His future. What will the world hold for him? I want to lock him inside and never let him go.

Insomnia makes my mind go. It wont shut off. More pacing. I think I'll go play with the fire.


eclectic said...

Insomnia bites so hard! Hope you get some good rest soon, MW.

Kelly Mahoney said...

I love you banner photo, it's a cool touch.

Expat Traveler said...

I think I have the same thoughts for photography and I definitely have the same dreams to live in Switzerland as you do in France... One day.

Sheree Rensel said...

The insomnia thing really sucks. I know. I have experienced this on and off through the years. For me, it relates to having a hyperactive mind. I can't stop the racing thoughts. Now, I appreciate every good night's sleep I get.
I felt like crying when you spoke of Mr. Man while he slept. I remember looking at my daughter and never wanting to let her go. I would try to imagine when she left home and how I would be so devastated. WELL.........I learned that the TEEN years are there for a reason. This is the time not only for teens to spread their wings, but also a time for parents to realize it is just FINE for them to grow up and LEAVE. LOL LOL LOL
It might be different for you because a father/son relationship is different than mother/daughter. However, remember my words when he is around 16.