22 January 2009

Draining Me...

My mind wandered off today. Way back into the past. I was trying to remember how long we were together. It was way too long.

We met young. Too young. We stayed together because people told us we shouldn't. I got used to having you around. Don't get me wrong, we had some great times together. We had some crappy ones too. You were always there for me. Didn't ask much. I enjoyed your company more than I should.

There were pieces of you every where in my life. I was so proud of myself the day I threw everything away. I found things in places I hadn't been for years. It was like you had always been with me. It was hard to remember a time you weren't there.

I left without telling you. No forwarding address. I always knew where you were though. For almost three years we were apart, and you know what? I enjoyed it. I liked my time away from you. I have never been more productive. I met new friends, saw new things. I didn't really miss you when it comes right down to it.

Then you found me. Without warning, there you were. Like a sap, I let you back into my life without question. Like we had never been apart. Now I'm finding parts of you all over my life again. What the hell?

I realize know that this time it's different. I needed you this time. I wanted you before. This time I see what I can be without you. We're not good together. Never really were, to be honest. You're a taker. For what I get, I have to give up much more. That's not right. Your joy is momentary and fleeting and as long as I let you, you will always want more.

My life has been very much the same for quite awhile. Upon reflection I realized that you were keeping me from moving on. I was growing and flourishing without you. Now that has been stifled and I'm back to where I was. I can't have that. I am stronger than you. I have greater will power. You don't need me either.

Someday we may meet again. I'm sure of it, it's a small world. When me pass on the street we can be pleasant. Maybe chat for bit to catch up, then I'm on my way. You can never be apart of my life again. I'm moving on. Without you. Don't call. Don't stop by. It's over.

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