28 August 2006

Toast...

Where have I been all my life?
Mid-western, corn-fed, gypsy boy.
Public school...after school...after school...

Oh yes, bonding has become an issue!
Constantly on the move, running...running...running...
Too afraid anything,
Too afraid of anyone, everyone!
Afraid of becoming attached,
More willing to to take my own life,
To die...by my own hand...
The ultimate, I QUIT!

We all die and turn to dust.
Sooner or later, we're all toast!

A constant dreamer.
Waiting, praying, working to hit the big one.
One more long shot so go for it.
I'm do dammit!

No one can lose every time...
No one can lose every time...
NO ONE CAN LOSE EVERY TIME!

Or maybe they can.

Why even play any more?
Is the "prize" that important?
Does it drive you to go on...
And on...
And on?
Does it consume you?
Do you even know what the prize is?

It's a torment, a cancer, a never ending...
PAIN!

A pain deeper than Hell itself.
Beyond something physical...
A mental anguish,
So completely silent that it's deafening!

I'm not playing any more!
This game is no fun!
They're my balls,
I'm taking them,
And I'm going home!

Do you want a rematch?
Do you want another piece of me?

Maybe later Lou!...Lou-zer!
Can you handle my rules?

My code...it's how I stay...sane-ish.

From one moment of time and events,
To the next,
It has to change in order to stay fresh.
To keep me from feeling;
Wrong, guilty, evil, uncaring...like a loser.
I change the rules of play
To suit my needs...
And I'm sticking to it,
Or not!

Why don't you just give up,
You will most likely , never win.

A pattern forms, after a while.
By the time you have detected it,
It's too late...
It's too late.

A perfect record, still intact,
O fer Life!

No comments: