26 May 2007

Gallery Talk...It's In The Attitude.

Today in the gallery kids, we are going to learn about attitude. I try very hard to be pleasant at all times. It is after all, the public that pays my bills. Sometimes I slip. Sometimes a persons ignorance and unwavering stubbornness just push me too far.

A lady with her nose so out of joint she would drown in a heavy rain, comes into the gallery. You could see her bad attitude coming before she ever opened her mouth. Like always, people like this HAVE to open their mouths.

After being in the gallery for less than 15 seconds she bellowed from across the room at me.

Lady: So...What are these?

Me: To which what, are you referring to?

Lady: All of it. Are they oils, acrylic, jicklies, what?

Me: Well, we have oils, acrylics, limited editions. It's pronounced giclee. (zhee-clay)

Lady: So they're jicklies. (she sighs to her friends and mutters. Nobody sells quality any more.

Me: To which works are you referring? Not all limited edition are giclees. Giclee is just one of many forms of printing fine art.

Lady: I can totally tell the difference between a jicklie and a print. It's obvious.

Her attitude is getting worse as we speak. I can tell that she looks at me and sees, shop flunky who knows nothing.

Me: Wow, that's a gift. Where did you study art?

Lady: I didn't.

Me: You have owned your own gallery or worked in the art field?

Lady: No.

Me: You know people who work in the art or printing fields?

Lady: No.

Me: I have spent the last 27 years studying art, fine art, painting, printmaking, art history, graphic design, interior design, architecture, photography. I have traveled all over the world to study and learn about art. I still have a hard time telling what some things are just from a quick glance in a gallery. What is your secret? How do you know so much about it?

Lady: My son has taken art classes.

Me: Really, that''s great. Where at?

Lady: Po Dunk High School in Idaho. (the name was changed to protect the school)

Me:??????? I'm sorry, where?

Lady: Po Dunk High School in Idaho.

Me:??????? (this was more than I could take. I have now become gallery bastard snob from hell. It's all in the tone.) Let me see if I understand. I have spent all of my adult life and then some, traveling and studying art. I have run multi million dollar galleries across the country, as well as owned my own galleries. Not to mention I have worked in the printing industry. And you are trying to tell me that because your son has taken a few art classes in high school, that you know more about this than I do? Did I hear that right?

Lady: (to her friends) I told you the people in this town are snobs.

It was at this point I think I may have blacked out for a moment. All I could see was me beating this bone head within an inch of her life and then pushing her into traffic.

I am pretty sure I didn't say another word to her but it is entirely possible that I told a variety of ways to F off.

Why are people so eager to show their ignorance and at the same time be totally unwilling to admit that they DO NOT know everything about everything.

Even with my background, I would never presume that I know everything there is to know about art. When I go to galleries, I still ask questions and listen to what they have to say.

This was as close as I have come to homicide in quite some time. Sorry to tell you all. This woman is still loose in the world. Not only that, she's a breeder. Be afraid, be very afraid.


Heather Anne said...

A breeder! Ha!

eclectic said...

Hey, if they don't know jickly in Po-dunk, Idaho, then I don't know where they would. *heh*

Dave2 said...

Oooooooooh! Sounds to me like somebody is jealous because they just found out that all those years of study and experience were a waste of time, when all you really have to do is know a kid who took high school classes to understand everything about art!

Honestly, how did you keep from bludgeoning this bitch?

Mad William said...

Now that I am one, I love that word,"breeder".

Po Dunk Idaho is the next place I'm going for vacation. I don't know how I've missed it. London, Paris, Rome, Po Dunk!

It was the greatest show of self restraint I have ever shown in public. She must have caught me on a good day.

All my years of study...Wasted!

Sizzle said...

now THAT is some assholery right there! those types are always breeders. i sure hope you gave her a variety of ways to F off.